Flageolet (aka Flatulence) Burgers

[Phone Rings]

Me:  Hello?

@TheSkivvy:  I’m going to f-ing kill you! 

Me:  Why?

@TheSkivvy:  I’m been at this for 3 hours now and nothing will stick. What a f-ing mess…


@TheSkivvy: …If you want to do sh*t like this, then you bloody well do it at the weekends. I’m done. And when you come home you’re going to be in big trouble. 

[Hangs Up]

It would be fair to say that the Flageolet Burgers did not get off to a good start. And unfortunately, the story does not take a turn for the better either. Start as you mean to go on…

I had never heard of Flageolet Beans before; according to Google they are the “caviar of beans”. Other than their caviar price tag, Flageolets look pretty unassuming on the surface. You have to soak them in boiling water for an hour. But be warned… we all know what happened to Gizmo when he came into contact with water…

Beware of the Flatulence Beans

 @TheSkivvy had a really hard time putting these together. We learned for the second time now that sometimes a blender just doesn’t do the job. So when I put them on the grill, I was super careful with them so that they wouldn’t fall apart. This is what I ended up with.. 

The Flatulence Burger in all its Glory

Looks pretty good right? Wrong. To call this a Flatulence Burger wouldn’t do it justice. 

Let’s just say at this point, I wished @TheSkivvy did f-ing kill me before I put that Flatulence Burger anywhere near my mouth. It would have been much less painful and a lot quicker! Don’t get me wrong, it tasted great… but the aftermath was much to be desired. Even looking at this picture makes me want to throw up right now. 

So for this reason, and for the safety of my readers, I will not be sharing this particular recipe with you. Just the story of how I ended up going through an entire bog roll in one evening. 

Lessons Learned: 

  • Invest in a food processor
  • Flageolet beans are evil
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2 Comments on “Flageolet (aka Flatulence) Burgers”

  1. Simon Says:

    You should buy the tinned variety. Dead cheap and no need to soak. Delia has a great recipe for tuna and bean salad that uses flageolet and I must say I’ve never experienced any of the side effects you so eloquently describe 😉

    • barbkhoo Says:

      Haha! Thanks Simon. It’s really difficult to find flatulence beans over here. The only sort we could find were of the non-tinned variety in Whole Foods. We know not to get those kind again!

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